Falling in love

Things like telling your middle school crush that you were deeply in love with them only to break up with them a week later for the new girl named Katie.  Well then you realize that Katie is in fact obsessed with Justin Bieber and well that just doesn't fly with you. So you realize your mistake but its too late. Your old crush is now deeply in love with another and you my friend have just made the worst mistake of your life.

Falling in love is suppose to be something that is exciting and beautiful. Yet when i fell in love it felt like i couldn't breathe. That i was drowning in doubt and worry. My own insecurities drove me insane. I wasn't ready to be in love. I certainly wasn't ready to fall out of love either. Yet i suppose my first love was more than ready to.

With a week of hell tall the years leading up to falling and love felt so unimportant. That everything had a tint of gray yet now that i had felt love? Oh my god Ive never seen so many vibrant colors. Everything was different. My eyes were finally open to the world.

So then when I experienced heartbreak? God i felt it all. Every single deep wound spewed sorrows and pain. I never thought I could last in this world without that person. That this Earth was so cruel. It let me taste the forbidden fruit and then kicked me out of the kingdom. No i was left bloody battered and bruised hoping for the pain to end. A year went by and i still felt all the pain. I thought time was suppose to heal you not be a painful reminder that what you had is gone for good.

I saw my first love move on with time. She entered new relationships even though they never stuck around. She experienced laughter and joy. All the things that were taken away from me when she left. Yet then something happened.

Each day i began to realize a flaw that i didn't see before. That this girl who previously 

seemed so perfect wasn't exactly that. Actually she was just as big of a mess as I was. She had a

bad temper. She was never sorry. She didn't know how to comfort me. And god i never even saw

passion in her eyes.