What if...

What if I was religious?

I wish that I could jump on the bandwagon and profess to the world that I was in fact religious. That I looked upon the world and saw the work of a higher power. No matter if that higher power be the christian God or not I wish I could. If I could force myself I would because I completely understand why someone would be religious. The comfort about life and after you're dead and gone is more evident when someone is religious. But I just can't believe it. I can't believe that this all mighty man in the sky controls everything and has my life planned out before I do. That I have a path in life forced upon me and nothing I do will change that. That when someone dies before their time, like my sister, that it is just God wanting another little angel. Or an all loving man would allow children to starve to death, be beaten senseless, and even murdered yet you can't forget that “God only gives you as much as you can handle.” To me that's just completely unrealistic and I can't get myself to believe it.

So if I was religious? I feel like I could have an opportunity to feel apart of something. That my life is meaningful. That if I’m a good person and follow these certain guidelines I could live an eternal life. Even the feeling I would have from someone telling me that all the pain I've endured this life is not even comparable to how much love and acceptance I will receive when I'm no longer here. I feel that I could look at the world with more certainty. That this all has a purpose.

Yet I can't. I believe in science. I can't believe in something that has no evidence supporting it besides its followers and a book written by man.